I’ve been rediscovering the bliss of sitting with friends over food and drinks. Past two years, yes, past two years, I’ve notoriously stacked other ‘priorities’ above the simple activity of dining with friends. The idea of sitting down to relax over a meal evaporated from my schedule.

Since the shock of my falling ill recently, I’ve been unlearning my fast and furious way of living and am still familiarizing myself with a more balanced, healthy pace. Death or life, I choose. And I’ve chosen life.

Today, I’m still adapting to the new momentum.

Just yesterday, I confided in Carol my new resolution,

‘I really need to learn how to enjoy sleeping.’

And she could only laugh at my eccentric wish, which reminded me what she taught me a few moments before that,

‘Val, how could you be excellent when you are relaxing!?’

I was dumbfounded by the revelation.

All this time, I want to be ‘laser-focused, disciplined, excellent, effective, punctual, creative, audacious,…’ and reading along, my heart seems pump harder, how could I be STILL and RELAXED? This is truly an art I’ve not mastered. Mastered. Look, it’s my chronic tendency of ‘doing all things fantastically’ kicking in again. Okay, ‘learned’ sounds more balanced. ’ I’ve a long way to go before I successfully enjoy sleep and ‘chilling out’ without the ambition of being ‘excellent’ or ‘disciplined.’.

I am grateful for a bunch of encouraging friends who’ve been sticking by and overlooking my ice-queen treatment since the longest time. The brief snacks and conversations in train-rides we’ve had past weeks are cherished more than you could imagine.

Simple things done together with people does wonders to your soul.

To me, it’s incredibly nourishing!

Looking forward to my dinner date with two girls tomorrow.

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